Thursday 2 April 2015

The Milky Woes

There were many days where Arjun would cry to be fed, cry when he was being fed, cry after he was fed..basically cry. I went through all the accusations from the moms and the self doubts & feelings of being inadequate.


You are holding him in a weird fashion...changed..still sometimes he cries..
Maybe milk is not enough..tried a top feed...accepted with glee at times and with disdain at others.

Turns out milk is not less..sometimes he just likes bahar ka biryani over ghar ki dal.
Understanding however is not acceptance. Each time I mixed a bottle, a little part of me still blamed myself.

When Arjun didn't want my milk he sure expressed it (read loud breath stopping wails). If I picked him up for a bottle feed he would cry and only stop when his ammammawould take him on her lap. I think he was afraid I would give him my milk and not the bottle. Talk about trust.

Most days though he was content with me. I think he just likes to mess with my mind.

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